Who are you glorifying?

                              photo credit-womenwalkinginthespiritofchrist.com                     

      Yesterday morning while doing my time with God, my mom called. I had been praying over a list I had made earlier that morning. It mainly was about all the responsibilities I have here on earth. Ministry, health, marriage, adult children, grand children, parents, extended family, etc. Just asking God to help me to make the best of my time in all these areas etc. I admit I became a little down thinking about my inability to be all I would like to be. 
     During the phone call with my mom, I was trying to explain something to her and she was just talking over it and moving on to a different subject. I felt myself get angry and I couldn't shake it off. So I asked God why am I so angry? Oh boy did I not anticipate what happened next. He said so clearly, control, you want to control her and others, but the root of that control is pride. It broke my heart but i knew He was right. I was ashamed and quickly asked Him for forgiveness. Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. I went on to journal about my feelings. 
     I told you, He was calling me to get real. I wasn't sure I wanted to share this on here, but then I thought what better way to kick out the power it has over me then to put it out here for everyone to see. I asked God to break the bondage it had on me. 
     Pride is a nasty thing it can hide in ways you don't even recognize yourself. The Bible says God hates pride. That doesn't mean he hates me, he just hates my pride. It's like a parent loves their child dearly, but hates their rebellion, mouth, etc. Proverbs 8:13 To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. 
     Have you ever noticed how God kinda pokes you ever so slightly with what He wants us to work on. He loves us so much He does it with gentleness. He has been poking me for sometime now on this, but I just didn't really get it. Then all of a sudden it's like He pulls back the blinders and WHAM, it's so clear and I can't miss it. Yet because of His gentle pokes, I realize He is so right. Where if He just whacked me over the head with it, I probably would rebel, fight, etc. (There probably is a good parental lesson there, for another day). 
     I asked God to reveal to me why I had so much pride in me and where did it begin. He showed me it started way back when I was a child and I wanted others to like me. So I tried to be what I thought I needed to be for them to do that. What He showed me next was a eye opener. Ready for this...I wanted them to see me better then I saw myself. Now I could set here and write out a whole list of reasons why I thought so little of myself, but the fact is satan had convinced me, as a little child I wasn't good enough. My house wasn't good enough, my looks weren't good enough, my......wasn't good enough. So the pride began. I needed to take this in my own hands and make others believe differently.     
     I look back and think how my life could have been so different if I wouldn't have believed that one lie. 
     I'm better then I was. There was a day when I heard that certain people were coming to our house I wanted to repaint, paper, maybe even move, borrow someone else's house, you get the point. Praise the Lord, I haven't been that way for at least five-ten years. Not saying little tendencies of that don't pop up here and there, and I have to tell myself to cool it. Proverbs 16:18-19 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.
     That all being said, I still have strong pride issues that need to be addressed.
     The most important thing God showed me was, (if you don't get anything else from this post, get this)why does it matter what others think. I was put here to glorify Him not others. When I stand before Him it isn't going to matter if I had a nice house, if I was liked by so and so, and they surely aren't going to be there to tell Him how wonderful I was and that I deserve special consideration or whatever. 
     This is HUGE for me. Today is a new day and I have a whole new look on life. A freedom to stop controlling,(as if I really was anyway) and stop the pride. I know that list won't look as daunting and life will be so much more simpler, when God and I really get this where He knows it needs to be. 
     Another thought....control is a blinder or lie of fear. We are so afraid if we don't control our surroundings and those in it, something horrible might happen. Reality....something horrible might happen anyway. Fear is not of God and when we are controlling, God can't. I don't know about you but I would much rather Him be in charge then me. 
     How about you? Are you trying to control those around you? Do you get angry when they don't act the way you think they should? Do you feel embarrassed when your children act out in front of certain people. Do you see that it is your pride, fear that they will see you as a bad parent, etc.? Take it to God, my friend, it is a heavy load to carry. Who are you glorifying? 

I would love to hear your thoughts.

In Him

Does your thought life need a makeover?(Day 5)

                                                             photo credit -the more you think lovely thoughts
     Wow it has been too long since I have posted. Today we finish up this passage we have been studying. Were going to start with verse 8,  8Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Wow that sounds like a tall order, and yet isn't that what we really want? Don't we really want to believe the best of others and have them believe the best of us. Yet that doesn't always happen does it, on either part?
     We are only accountable for our own actions. When we stand before God it won't matter that they never forgave us or whatever. It only matters that we forgave them. They will be accountable for their own. 
     So verse 8 is truly directions on how to live our lives, and we must desire to do so if we want to be obedient to God. When our thoughts are not true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, they are from the evil one, satan. So we have to think through the love of Christ. 
     When I start on my soap box I try and stop immediately and ask God to help me with my thoughts. Sometimes my immediately isn't as soon as it should be, and I have to ask God for forgiveness. When I really live by verse 8 my peace is inevitable, and that is what I am striving for.
     Sometimes my hardest person to have this kind of thinking towards is myself. Are you with me here? I was getting my hair cut the other day by my dear friend and she was telling me how she was sharing with a friend how upset she was with herself, and the friend said "wait, wait, give yourself the same grace you would give someone else here. If someone else was telling you this same story, you would be saying oh that is so not true and you are a wonderful person and so on." Amazing advice from a wonderful Godly woman that gets verse 8. Grace is what it is all about. We can't possibly think this way if we don't give others grace. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she is hurting real bad and I need to pray for her, maybe......we don't know what is going on in peoples lives, what they are struggling with. 
     Several years ago I went through a time where I yelled at my kids, I  wanted to throw in the towel on my marriage, withdrew from many things, and cried at the tip of a hat. Yet deep inside me I knew this wasn't me and I didn't want to be this way. I prayed and prayed, then God led me to a unexpected meeting with a women I knew from church and we got to talking and I shared with her about this, I was desperate. She said have you had your hormones checked? Hormones? I had no idea what she was talking about, I knew what hormones was, but I didn't know you could have them checked, say nothing about that I should. She told me about a doctor who did this, and wow what a difference.
     So we have to give ourselves and others grace, even our husbands, they also have hormone issues as well. It's not always hormones, it can be many things as we all know. God gives us grace through so much and we are called to do the same. 
     I'm going to put verse 8 throughout my house, and work on it even more then I already have. Verse 9 gives me that promise. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. I want the God of peace to be with me always.
     I just want to share a little story with you that was told to us, about this passage at a ladies convention. She said her little boy, I think age 8 or somewhere around there was reading this passage in Sunday school, devotional time or something and she asked him what it meant to him. He thought on it for a while and then came back with "I have rocks in my head and I need to replace them." What, rocks in your head? "Ya mom the bad thoughts are like rocks in my head and I need to replace them with true thoughts, noble thoughts, and so on." Cute way to think of it, but he got it. We all have rocks in our head, we have to make the decision to remove them and replace them with lovely thinking. Who can you change your thinking on today, and show them grace?

In Him